My beautiful son is suffering a lot and all I can do is stand by and watch. His girlfriend (his first love) broke his heart in a cruel and calculating way. He is devastated. Was not able to make it back to school for this semester.
He is deeply depressed and has gone to a very low and dark space.
I am doing my best to be a quiet, loving, presence and just be there for him. I am loving him. There is nothing else I can do. And I know that this too shall pass, eventually…
The sunlight and shadows and stillness of the early morning kitchen surround me. All this shit came to a head only 5 days ago.
He is asleep. Today we will get some medication that will help him as he lives through his depression.
I am blessed to be here with him. I am so grateful he is home and not away at school. He won’t let me do anything, but I can watch him and be here. I am praying to my grandparents in heaven who watch over us and love us and help us.
He has a flat affect most of the time, but sometimes he comes back alive a little bit.
He has a good rapport as far as I can tell with the therapist I found for him. He is going again today.
The only thing I bought on vacation this years was a candle and some incense. They are being put to good use now, when I remember. Sitting silently is what I do a lot of the day while he sleeps. The light of the candle and the spicy aroma of the incense stick is nice.
I have been exasperated and overwhelmed. I am going to start seeing a therapist tomorrow.