I just realized a few moments ago that my blog is now over a year old. What a difference a year in a life makes! I’ve been through a heck of a lot over the past year- my son’s heartbreak and depression, my husband’s continuing challenges with health and depression, and some other things which were pretty awful that I won’t mention…
I read Viktor Frankl’s book “Man’s Search for Meaning” a few times when I was younger. This man lost his entire family and survived a Nazi concentration camp, despite tremendous odds.
His message of choosing one’s response to any set of difficult circumstances resonated deeply with me, and still does today. Continue reading “Choosing not to freak out”
My husband struggles with bipolar disorder and doesn’t choose to get treatment for it. Because of this, his job, the pain and issues with his Crohn’s disease- and just life in general – can really get to him sometimes.
A big piece of my spiritual practice and emotional healing is learning how not to get sucked into his drama. I am learning to connect with my center and stay grounded, even when he acts chaotic and irrational.
Since I have learned how to be mindful and how to live in the present, I am learning to just let him be and not judge or condemn him too much. But dealing with my husband, when his bipolar rears it’s ugly head, is a continual challenge.
This past weekend was pretty tough. Bob was working on a detailed project in the driveway and garage: he purchased a used boat recently and has been fixing it up. He loves to work on projects, that’s his hobby. Continue reading “The Challenges of Dealing With My Bipolar Husband When He Acts Out”
This morning I had not one iota of self-awareness. My inner calm and serenity went right out the door in an instant…
One thing I am learning, mostly through messing up, is that to have peace in your life, you have to start where you are now.
I am getting over a bad cold. We were supposed to fly to Chicago on Saturday to visit my brother and his family. But I got sick last week, and even though I tried to rest and whatnot, we ended up cancelling the whole trip. So I feel guilty about that, even though I know it would have been stupid and rude to go and stay at my brother’s house with a cough and fever. Continue reading “No Self-Awareness & No Inner Calm – I Messed Up Again”
Today I’d like to share how I am practicing a little bit of self-awareness, and reaping instant benefits from it. How I was stuck in a negativity pattern with my husband, and how, by being mindful and choosing kindness instead, how that negativity quickly turned itself around…
Bob is sick again. He is experiencing a total body exhaustion and profound tiredness that makes it hard for him to function. He sleeps all the time – on the weekend he slept all night and then woke up and fell asleep again and slept all day. This week at work he told me said he has been falling asleep at his desk a lot, something that I know he hates. I think this is one of the effects of his Remicade, and he also has a cold. So it’s a double whammy I guess… Continue reading “How Self Awareness is Healing My Marriage Today”
My son is 20 years old today. I can’t believe it. It really doesn’t seem like it was that long ago that he was a little boy.
He is coming home from his sophomore year at college at the end of this week. They sure weren’t kidding when they say that time goes by fast. I feel like it was just yesterday he was still in high school and we were helping him decide what school to go to.
He is really turning out to be a nice young man. I have all kinds of feelings about this. Guilt for things I could have done better. Relief that he got through the angst of those earlier years. Pride that he grew up well balanced, despite all our family’s (my) shortcomings… And tremendous Hope for his bright future… Continue reading “An Open Letter to My Son on His 20th Birthday”