How To Accept Things That Irritate Us

So many times we hear about the importance of Acceptance. But how can we really practice acceptance? How can we do it effectively and completely?

How can we accept what arises in the moment without suffering too much?

95 of unhappiness is generated

Acceptance is hard! My husband seems to be out of his recent manic episode. He is being nice again. He is back to his normal self. But I find I am holding on to irritation and resentment. It doesn’t feel good. I want to have peace. But I am not able to let go of these feelings just by wishing them away.

It’s a beautiful day, my wonderful day off from work! How can I accept that I am having these feelings and let them go so I can have some inner peace?

The answer came to me this morning through a video I was watching of an Eckhart Tolle talk. An audience member asked: How can we accept, surrender, and be present without having to suffer a lot? 

Below are my notes from the video, direct quotes from Eckhart. He really helped me make my peace with these feelings, so I’m hoping this will benefit you as well!

Is there something going on in your life that you would love to accept but just can’t, no matter how hard you try? Here is how to practice acceptance, with Eckhart giving an example of something we all can relate to.

Tip: As you read what follows, do it in a slow and meditative way. See if you can feel the peace within you as you connect with understanding what you read:

Your acceptance needs to be deep enough so that its not just on a conceptual level (pointing to his head) but also on a deeper level (pointing to his heart).

On the emotional level.

Otherwise you would be lying to yourself.

Let’s say you’re in a situation – a relatively small situation that generates irritation. Let’s say there is a long delay somewhere, you’re waiting for something. You can find an irritation beginning to build up.

At some point you realize that irritation is beginning to build up.

Then your mind says I need to surrender, I should surrender to this situation.

I need to accept it the way it is. Ok.

Then your mind says. Ok, I accept the situation the way it is.

But the question is, Does it remain a statement in the mind?

Because the true acceptance needs to go into every cell of your body.

You need to be in touch. That’s why as a practice, body awareness is very helpful when you’re not being challenged.

Just to feel the inner body. So that habitually you’re able to place attention into the inner energy field of your body, which also helps you to know
what’s going on in the emotional field of your body.

So let’s say you’re irritated at the airport, your flight is cancelled. Now you’re lining up to book another flight and there are 20 people ahead of you.

People get very upset at airports!

So you accept this moment as it is.

Then you need to detect within yourself whether you have really accepted it.

Because are you still feeling irritated or not?

To be able to know whether you’re irritated or not. Whether your mind is continuing to produce thoughts of irritation.

But in the emotional field you may still be angry and irritated.

So your attention needs to move into the body. Is there still irritation in here?

And then you notice whether there is still a feeling, whether there’s a contraction still (fists at solar plexus).

And if there is, you can notice it. Say, “Oh there’s still irritation there.”

And then what you can do is accept whatever you feel.

Acceptance, surprisingly, changes it. It is the greatest agent for change.

Accepting whatever you feel. Because whatever you feel is nonacceptance.

So you bring acceptance into the nonacceptance, which is either the contraction or the vibrational frequency of anger or irritation.

You say Ok.

It’s ok to feel that.

And sometimes its possible to just drop it too.

You say, “I don’t really want that.”

So you take one or two deep breaths, and release it from the body.

Then you have released it both mentally, because the irritation usually starts in the mind – the mind making judgments about the situation you find yourself in.

The body then reacts to the judgment and creates an emotion that reflects the mental judgement.

So it’s always good to start with the mind and realizing I’m not irritated because of the situation,

I’m irritated because of what my mind is commenting on this situation.

It’s an enormous insight.

And that applies to so many instances in your life when you feel any kind of unhappiness seemingly being caused by the situation you find yourself in.

95% of the unhappiness is generated, surprisingly, by your mind:

What your mind is saying about the situations you find yourself in.

Once you realize that, you realize you can be free of that.

Because You don’t have to do it. It’s the unobserved mind. The egoic consciousness is generating it.

There you stop. Then also you have enough consciousness left when it’s not continuously absorbed by agitated thought processes.

Then you have enough consciousness left to direct it into the body and examine what it is you feel.


(Eckhart talks about the importance of inner body awareness. See this post to learn how to do it:

So the Key to Acceptance is to notice that you are having negative thoughts about your situation. The thoughts produce feelings in your body, which manifests as an unpleasant contraction in your abdomen and shoulders, or the vibration of anger or irritation.

Notice and accept what you feel. Don’t turn away from it. Notice whether you feel it in your body. Notice it and just be there.

If you decide you don’t want that feeling, take one or two slow, conscious breaths while focusing on the feeling and where it is in your body.

That will help you to drop it.

And thus you have transformed your irritation into inner peace.

Thank you Lord! I feel better now! 😀

I am so grateful that we have Eckhart Tolle on this Earth. His teachings The Power of Now Audio CDare awakening and healing so many people. I am so grateful to be one of them!

The Power of Now is his book that teaches how to wake up from the ego, and how to stop letting negative mind patterns run your life. I highly recommend it to anyone is seeking inner peace. (I listen to the audio CDs every day on my commute to work, they are absolutely life-changing, in my opinion).

Have a wonderful day!

xo, Lisa Arcelia

Thank you for reading!

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Author: Lisa Arcelia

I love showing how to find real happiness and inner peace in this busy and challenging world :)

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