Did you know that the people around you can sense your energy? This happens mostly on a subconscious level. But it affects how people relate to you and feel about you.
You are responsible for the energy you bring into your home.
That is one of those things that everyone seems to get on a certain level, but no one really knows HOW to do it. Today I’ll show you 🙂
Let me start by illustrating the concept with this example. Most of us know or maybe work with an angry person. They don’t walk around feeling angry. They ARE angry. They walk around gloomy, they might have a scowl on their face. They’re not pleasant or fun to be around. That’s the vibe, or energy they give off. Everyone can feel it. You don’t necessarily dislike this person, but you don’t exactly want to invite them out to lunch either, right?
On a less extreme level this, is what each and every one of us does. When we feel stressed out, angry, or otherwise, it’s important to remember that this can affect the people who are around us.
I’m not saying to be fake or disingenuous with your feelings. But how you feel and what you emanate affects those you live with. The people in our home are the ones we love the most. So it would benefit us greatly to not consciously bring negative feelings and energy with us when we interact with them.
Follow along, I’m doing this too! 🙂
How to have good energy with your spouse or partner
Does he or she irritate you? Are you holding onto resentments from an argument or disagreement? Raising my own hand here- this is something I am working on 😉
Can you center yourself and notice that feeling of irritation or resentment before you interact with him? Just sit with the feeling and watch it. Breathe and just do your best to turn towards the feeling instead of resisting or pretending it isn’t there.
Sit for a few minutes and just notice the feeling… Sit with the emotion and notice it, instead of letting it overtake you and become you. There is a difference 😉
Remember how I was a jerk to my husband the other day? Well since then, I have been making the effort to be mindful of my emotions about him. I am keeping myself centered, and therefore not being overtaken by emotion or any kind of negativity.
Yesterday I went to a yoga class, and I set an intention for peace. It felt wonderful. If I didn’t have time for yoga, I could have just sat for a few minutes in meditation.
It really helped! It kept me calm, it kept us peaceful later that night. It’s good all around. 🙂
When you feel reactive with your spouse or partner, sitting with the negativity before you interact with him or her is a so incredibly helpful. You can sit with it in meditation, in yoga class, while you walk, jog, or even while you’re doing the housework.
When we pay attention to our feelings this way, we don’t have to stuff anything, or be afraid we’ll say something we later regret.
By taking the time to get centered and in touch with my inner self, I can be mindful of how I am feeling. Now I can choose to be pleasant and kind once Bob gets home from work. This is good energy! 🙂
This is good for you, your spouse or partner, and your relationship!
Note: You don’t have to do this perfectly. If you can just catch yourself some of the time, and not be irritated or needy with your partner or spouse by centering yourself, that’s awesome and will benefit you right away! 🙂
Tip: If you had a bad day at work, use your commute home as time to be still with yourself and notice if you are carrying any tension home with you. Take some good slow deep breaths. Imagine yourself inhaling light and love, and exhale away the stress. Scan your body to see if you are carrying tension in your shoulder, jaw, or abdomen. If so, focus on releasing the tension in your muscles…
How to be responsible for your energy when you’re with your kids
It’s pretty easy to have good energy when your kids are doing what you think they should be doing. After all we love them unconditionally.
It gets tricky when you feel at odds with them. But you can still be mindful and not contaminate the home with bad energy- even if you disagree with them.
My son is home from college for the summer. I want him to get a job. What he likes to do and has been doing, is to play video games and hang out with his friends.
It’s irritating to me because I wish he were more proactive about the job. Over the semester I looked into summer opportunities for him and kept saying (over and over again like a broken record) how he needs to work this summer. I told him his college is expensive, he needs the life experience, it’s good for his character, and so on.
At one point, it was in his last week of the semester, I mentioned a summer job again. And he said to me, “Why do you have to keep saying that? I know what I need to do, you don’t have to say it every time I talk to you!”
Being a nag is never a good thing. 😛
So I know that he knows that I want him to work. He’s a good kid. He works very hard in school. His grade point average this semester was a 3.86. When he got home he was exhausted and had bronchitis, so he slept a lot.
It’s still early in the summer. It would only do me and him harm if I busted into his room and started demanding that he get a job.
Instead, what I did was to ground myself and make sure my energy was neutral and not irritated at him. I sat with my feelings until I was calm and not feeling reactive, and then I approached him.
Me: So what’s the situation with a summer job?
Him: I’m seeing what Will and Sanjay are doing.
Me: Oh, well you don’t have to work with them. You can work anywhere.
Him: Why can’t I do what I want?
Me: You can to a point, but you have to work this summer.
And that was the end of it.
That was a win. 🙂
Why? Because I didn’t yell, or justify my position. I just stayed calm and said what I had to say. No drama. And I didn’t add any negativity to into our home. If he gets a job or doesn’t get a job, if he gets one right away, or next week– either way, it won’t make much difference in the grand scheme of his life.
But what will make a difference is that I didn’t become the defensive angry mom. My energy was neutral and my tone and message were appropriate.
Again, remember that you don’t have to do this perfectly. No one does. Just by try, and in getting it right some of the time, you will benefit yourself and your kids tremendously. 🙂
I encourage you to take a look at how you’re feeling. Make it a habit to check in regularly. See if you can’t notice your own patterns. Sometimes it’s easy , sometimes it’s more challenging. Just make the effort of trying to notice how you feel.
Once you identify how you feel, and any negative energy pattern, you can take steps to change it. Sit in meditation and just breathe. Or again, you can jog, or do some yoga, or write in a journal. Whatever helps you find your center and get in touch with your soul.
Checking in with yourself regularly helps declutter yourself from mild irritation, being antsy or needy, bitchy, or a nag with your family. You won’t contaminate your home with this energy. You can then choose to infuse your home with kindness, love, and peace.
When you take responsibility for the energy you bring into your home, you are promoting your own and your family’s well-being. 🙂
Thank you for reading!
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