Can’t believe this shit. I really thought once the Crohn’s flare up was past, he’d be feeling better and get back to his life. He had 2 good, normal days and now he’s sick again. 🙁
I get scared when he’s so exhausted. It’s 2:10pm on Saturday and he’s dead asleep on the couch. He woke up this morning, tried to putter around and had to lay down by around 10 am. This after sleeping all night. I feel so bad for him. At least he’s not having stomach pain.
Over the past few weeks Bob has seen and had blood work done by 2 new specialists, as well as a sleep study. We haven’t heard any results back yet though. This exhaustion he has is really confounding me. It seems to come out of nowhere and he is not able to function when it hits.
So I am doing what has to be done and trying to stay focused on the moment and not project. I started a new project a few weeks ago- both to have some fun for myself as well as to keep my mind occupied. I started a new blog to breathe some much-needed life into my wall murals store. I used to really have good sales and a lot of fun marketing my online store, but the past few years I haven’t done much at all with it.
Once Bob got sick and we were dealing with all his health issues, I noticed that a lot of my creativity dried up along with it. So I’m hoping this recent burst of renewed interest in my online endeavors stays with me. We shall see.
I made sure to get up early and head to the gym, even though I didn’t feel like it. It felt great to work out, and really did help my mood.
While I was cleaning the bathrooms today I listened to a great Byron Katie video on You Tube. I love her and doing The Work helps me so much to keep myself in check. She says when we believe our stressful thoughts we suffer.
This is absolutely the case with me! Lately I am having nightmarish images of me being a 50 year old widow. Not fun 🙁 It is a great thing for me to know and actually experience that I can live and enjoy today despite the challenges I face mentally with a chronically ill husband. Can’t say that I’m wildly happy, but I am not creating any mental drama for myself, and for that I am grateful.
Our son did really well on his midterms and he called me all excited last week to give me the scoop. I’m so damn proud of that kid. He is such a bright spot in my life.
So that’s it for now. I have spare ribs cooking in the oven which Bob loves, so hopefully he can eat something later. They smell absolutely delicious and they are so easy to make. This is the recipe I use in case you love ribs and want a super easy recipe. Buddy is sure looking forward to his scraps 🙂
Wishing you well and talk soon.
xo, Lisa Arceila
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