18/40/60 Rule and Self Acceptance

you are good enough believe it



Did you know that your level of self acceptance determines your level of happiness?

Self acceptance is when you can not only accept, but embrace all facets of your self- the good, the bad and the ugly.

While I can’t say I accept Everything about me, I am definitely forgiving of a lot of the mistakes of my past. I also am not so hard on myself in most areas where used to feel I didn’t measure up.  At this stage in my life, it feels nice have some compassion and kindness towards myself and to no longer feel punishing and negative.

Last night Bob and I were watching a special on public television. It featured a prominent psychiatrist named Dr. Daniel Amen and caught my attention when he talked about the 18/40/60 Rule.

Basically this describes how at age 18, you care what everyone thinks about you. By age 40 you really don’t care what anyone thinks about you. And by age 60 you realize that no one was ever really thinking about you.

The takeaway is that everyone is focused on themselves, and therefore to worry about what others think of you is kind of a big waste of your time.

It has certainly been the case with me that with age I have gotten a more balanced perspective of life. Once you have lived long enough and gone through pain and loss, you do really start to realize that certain things just aren’t all that important. And worrying what others think of you falls into that category.

I can’t say that I never worry about or care what others think, because I still do. Sometimes too much. : ( I have always been highly sensitive and have a propensity to worry.  I guess I’m a bit delayed in that area, because I shouldn’t still care at age 50 according to Dr. Amen.  Oh well…

But I think the two of these things are inversely related. That is, as my level of self acceptance grows, my concern about what others think goes down. Which is pretty nice actually 🙂

The older I get, the more I realize that while I am not perfect in any way,  I am Good Enough in every way. Meaning, I don’t have to be perfect to be a Good Enough wife, a Good Enough mother, a Good Enough sister, a Good Enough friend, or a Good Enough worker.

Good Enough takes a lot of pressure off me 😉

Everybody is different. No one is perfect. Everyone is a little weird, including me. And that is totally and completely ok 🙂

everyone is different



And I can say that keeping my life simple and by being mindful and having an attitude of gratitude, I am learning to have more self-acceptance. Today I can say I am pretty much mostly happy and grateful to be me, even with all my quirks, crow’s feet, and even with the extra weight in my midsection – one of the “gifts” of middle age, shall we say.

Wishing you lots of self acceptance towards that person you live with and know longer than anyone- Yourself! 🙂

xo, Lisa Arcelia

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Author: Lisa Arcelia

I love showing how to find real happiness and inner peace in this busy and challenging world :)

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