Although people who teach mindfulness and meditation tell you to do it with no goal in mind, I fully admit I started looking into these areas and practicing them specifically because I was so sick and tired of feeling bad all the time. I don’t mean clinically depressed – but this bad undercurrent in that I always had some angst in my heart thinking about the future and some regret and shame from my past. And I rushed through my days at a feverish pace.
My inner angst didn’t stop me from living or working or providing or whatever, but it did affect the quality of all those things. I certainly didn’t like feeling rushed or emotional or negative or easily upset.
So while my inner peace is my ultimate goal, I know that the joy is in the journey, as they say. Every day presents a new opportunity to discover more about living in the present- which is where inner peace resides, and letting go of old thought patterns and resistance.
When I am conscious of living in the NOW, and keep my attention on the present moment, I am told that this puts the body at a higher vibrational frequency- and that low level emotions like anxiety, fear, depression, and anger cannot affect you or take you over. (Source: Eckhart Tolle- The Power of Now). How cool is that?? 🙂
It takes some effort to keep your attention in the present, because the thinking mind wants to take you over and run your life. Actually for me it took a lot of effort, since I have always had what I call racing thoughts.
I don’t want to live my life being run by my thoughts anymore. I want to have peace and be ok with life and not rush through it like the present moment isn’t important.
So while my goal of inner peace may seem lofty, I am having little victories and moments of happiness each day. And when I reflect on this, all these little moments do add up 😉
Today I woke up and had so many things to do– get to the gym, a doctor appointment, car inspection, groceries, walking the dog, laundry, etc..
Keeping busy and staying focused on the task at hand was my goal today. And I’m happy to say I did pretty well. 🙂
As I said above, it really is such a blessing to have little victories- where I am not lost in thought and just witnessing the world around me with interest. Here are some little moments from today that were pretty nice:
~To be siting in the mechanic’s shop today while getting my car inspected, for example, and watching the guys joke around good-naturedly with each other.
~Or when I was at the check-out at the grocery store and the scanner broke. I stood there and watched with interest how the cashier got a little frustrated and started saying how this wasn’t his day, but then figured it out – and I was able to be kind about it and not impatient at all (which is my ususal m.o.)
~When I texted my son earlier wishing him a good day (he is back at school and yesterday sounded overwhelmed with his work load) and he texted back how he was having a better day 🙂
~When I noticed just now how I am almost done doing 4 loads laundry – and I did them with ease and lightness and not a crappy attitude.
These are not little things for me. Being calm and not rushed and irritated and just accepting the day for what it is is HUGE 😀
Later today when Bob gets home from work I am going to suggest that we take the dog for an evening walk. I mentioned his recent Crohn’s flare-up (which we think happened because we had to switch insurance and it made him miss a Remicade infusion) and hopefully he will feel up to it. Now that the weather is nicer and it’s lighter out, it will be good for all of us.
(By the way, I am so grateful for the light after the darkness of winter. I love winter, actually, but get stir crazy come spring after being cooped up in the house.)
Staying in the present with my husband can really be a challenge for me, because we happen to have a lot of negative behavior patterns, and can easily trigger each other. But I am up for the challenge 🙂 So a nice stroll with the dog will be good practice for us. The more I am consistent with kindness toward him, the better it gets.
My wish is that all who are practicing mindfulness and meditation are benefiting from it and finding that all your little happy moments do add up 🙂
Wishing you a good day,
Lisa Arcelia xo
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