I used to wonder why my weekends were always so bad. Why my husband and I always picked fights and got so bitchy with each other. I got so sick and tired of dreading my weekends and wishing I could just relax and enjoy 2 days of rest and not working.
What I am beginning to learn is to keep the focus on myself, not others, and not on things out of my control. As Byron Katie says, there are only 3 businesses in the world: God’s business, Other Peoples’ business, and Your Business. Whose business are you in? 🙂
My only real task in life is to keep my inner space clean. To not muck up my beautiful life, in this very instance.
It doesn’t matter what happened tomorrow, or what might happen today. What truly matters is how I am acting and feeling in this moment.
The present moment is all there ever is. Right now I can just breathe and sit here and sip my coffee and look out on my deck on this early March morning. I feel a deep appreciation for being alive and feeling well again. What a nice thing it is to enjoy coffee again! 🙂 When I had my virus, I was nauseated all the time and I couldn’t stomach it.
Today the weather will be unseasonably warm- in the mid 60’s. Our winter here in Monroe, NY was mild enough, but that doesn’t keep me from getting excited about Spring…
So what can I do today for my inner peace?
I know I need to be kind and courteous to my husband. We had a rough time recently- especially when I was sick and he invited company over anyways and I got pissed at him. This is not something I want to drag out and keep rehashing. When I stay focused on that fiasco, and whether my husband was a jerk or not, that is me being in his business.
Today I will keep it light and easy, with no pressure on myself. My energy is still not back to what it was before I got sick. So while I want to go to the gym and clean the house and get out and do yard work, I will try to be mindful of my energy level, and not do too much.
More than that, I need to be mindful of my thoughts.
I have a tendency towards the negative and being home on the weekends is a trigger for me to get all nutty and controlling. I am a Jedhi Master of minding my husband’s business, and this does nothing for him, us, me, or the energy in this house.
As a side note, he is pretty skilled at minding my business too. We don’t exist in a vacuum, of course, so what I do to him he also does to me… 🙂
Staying out of his business and minding my own, is truly my full time job.
Breaking free of the negative behavior pattern of weekend bickering can only happen if I keep the focus on myself, my business, and how I am acting in the present moment.
I can take one mindful breath here and there throughout the day. I know that one mindful breath is a mini meditation that grounds me and can help me get my perspective back. And I am someone that loses my perspective very easily.
And here is something I learned years ago about when to speak and when to stay quiet. If I feel the urge to say something to my husband, I can use the THINK acronym:
Is it: Thoughtful? Is it Helpful? Is it Intelligent? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind?… If it is none of these things, then it is better left unsaid 😉
I know if I keep the focus of my attention on me- being kind, being mindful, THINKing before I speak, and take things slowly and not too seriously- I can not only get through this day well, but keep myself peaceful and happy too. 🙂
Wising you a peaceful weekend…
xo, Lisa Arcelia
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