Not so different


The ego likes to emphasize the ‘otherness’ of others. – Eckhart Tolle

When I think about this statement, which is pretty profound, I can see how this has affected me my whole life. When I am in my big Ego, I fall for the trap that others are so different from me. That this one has little in common with me, that this other person has so much in common with me.

When I deem someone has little in common with me, I separate myself from them and automatically judge them. I never did this consciously or with malice, but this has been how I lived all my life. I judge someone and see them as either above me or below me in some way. Both of these judgments leave me isolated and disconnected, and I must play the role. And when I play a role, I am not being authentically me.

I will illustrate with 2 different groups of people I work with- the little group of maintenance workers and a group of 3 doctors.

First, the maintenance people:

They are a little rough around the edges in speech. Meaning, they use poor grammar here and there. As the daughter of an English teacher, I pick up on this right away. Also sometimes they talk about stuff that is a bit raunchy.

The group of doctors:

They act stand off-ish and don’t help out with things like lifting a patient or moving the stretcher from the operating room to the recovery room. They just stand there and let all the other people in the room do all the work. It comes off as snobbish.

To mask my discomfort with each of these groups, I have acted indifferent- meaning I would walk by them and not interact with them much. Or only interact with people in my peer group- other nurses and such. This behavior only reinforces that I am different and separate from these other people. This then disconnects me and strengthens my ego.

Feeling disconnected and a strong ego are parts of the old me- I don’t want to be that way anymore. 

When I accept myself as separate and equal and that we are all focal points of one consciousness, instead of somehow less than the doctors and above the maintenance people, I find peace.

The maintenance people don’t use perfect English, and they talk about raunchy stuff sometimes. And they are funny and like to have a good time at work!  I can just be me and see them and laugh along with them when I am with them. I don’t have to play a role of the nurse that is above them. I am not their English teacher, I am not their superior in any way. They are funny and nice and I really like them. 🙂

The doctors – that they act entitled and don’t help with moving patients doesn’t have to make me feel less than them or uncomfortable. If I am present and kind, I am just a human having an interaction with another human who is playing a role. It doesn’t have to affect me. I like these doctors personally and have seen their more human sides. Maybe they think they have to act that way. Either way, it’s none of my business and has nothing to do with me. It’s nothing I have to take offense at or feel threatened by. 🙂

I don’t want to act or be superior or inferior to anybody.

Life is so much kinder when I am not playing a role. When I notice that I always have so much in common with any group of people- solely based on the fact that we are all humans living in the world today and doing the best we can with what we have and know, all disconnection melts away and I have peace.

And when I have peace in my little corner of the universe, life becomes friendly indeed 🙂

Can you see where you have played roles in your life that leave you feeling either above or below another person or group of people? Can you see how this creates discomfort and disconnection?

Can you start to see how relinquishing these roles and just being YOU- the wonderful authentic human that you are- while being kind to others also playing their roles – can give you some peace and create an authentic connection to others? I wish this for you today 🙂

Lisa Arcelia

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Author: Lisa Arcelia

I love showing how to find real happiness and inner peace in this busy and challenging world :)

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